(light music) <v ->Hello, I'm Janae Wheeler with AARP.</v> Welcome to this caregiving video where we'll share ways to approach and navigate challenging financial conversations that come with a loved one's ongoing care. Millions of Americans will need some sort of ongoing care now or in the future, which can have significant financial impacts on families. You or a family member may likely be part of that group. A lot of uncertainty can be avoided if you talk with your loved ones before an issue arises. We know that money can be a sensitive topic, and discussing future and end of life care can be difficult. The following pointers can help things go smoothly, from starting the conversation and keeping it going, and important things to consider along the way. So how do you start? It's helpful to approach that first conversation and every conversation after it with love, support and patience. Consider a time and place that's good for everyone involved and express gratitude for their time. You can acknowledge that the conversation may be tough. You may want to stress that it's important to make key decisions now, so that you can act in their best interest later. You may say something like, "I know this topic is difficult, but I think it would give us both peace of mind to have a financial plan for following through on your wishes." As you discuss key decisions, try not to pressure your family member into making immediate decisions. Consider asking questions about their feelings and validate their concerns. If they say they need time to think, respect their wish for time and space. Check in regularly. Talking early and often will help ensure that plans are comprehensive and any changes to a situation or wishes have been discussed. Talking often will also allow you to focus on one or two decisions per conversation, which can keep talks from feeling overwhelming. You can determine those key decisions by identifying financial needs. What types of care expenses do you expect in the near or distant future? You can use that information to lay out a realistic financial picture. That picture will include insurance and benefits coverage and the details of your family members' finances. Now, getting those details might mean asking some uncomfortable questions. You may need to ask about any financial problems, both existing and potential ones. If that's the case, just remember to pose those questions with sensitivity. Remember to ask your loved one, not only about their finances, but also about their values, preferences and wishes for healthcare. Their personal wishes and preferences are part of the larger discussion around finances, as are the documents that reflect those wishes. If they don't have documents that spell out their financial and healthcare wishes, encourage them to start putting that documentation together. For example, durable power of attorney allows a specific person to make decisions on your behalf if you're incapacitated or become cognitively disabled. If your loved one doesn't have a durable power of attorney for healthcare and financial decisions, talk to them about putting together a process for having one in place. Similarly, if they don't have a living will, help them go through the process of setting one up. If they do have existing documents, help them compile and organize them so you know where to find them if needed. These can also include health and life insurance policies, Social Security cards or citizenship papers, deeds to property and documents related to pension and federal benefits. And don't forget to ask them if you'll need access to important accounts. These first conversations are likely to bring up as many questions as answers. That's why it's helpful to come to each conversation, showing that you've done your research and can offer some solutions. Show that you've considered financial recommendations and researched important legal processes. If needed, present alternative solutions and bring in a neutral third party, such as a financial advisor. Finally, after each talk, recap what you've discussed and make a plan for moving forward. Make sure you understand your family member's wishes and request. Talk out any plans for making arrangements, updating documents, or when the next conversation needs to happen. For more tips on talking about finances and budgeting the cost of care, check out the AARP Financial Workbook for Family Caregivers. It's free to download and walks you through discussing care expenses. You can find the workbook and more resources like AARP Care to Talk cards at learn.aarp.org/caregiving. While you're there, be sure to use the Your Questions Answered tool to browse Frequently Asked Questions. If you don't see what you're looking for, you can submit a question of your own for an email response from a caregiving expert. Thanks for watching. (light music)

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